At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
