you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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