Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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