I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
