Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
