You're my little dorito
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
