ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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