I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
love makes seman taste better
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
