Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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