Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
