My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
