We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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