Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
