I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize