okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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