I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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