I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
