there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
