Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
we should paint friendship bongs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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