Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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