she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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