toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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