We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
