Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
