Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
