Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
