She's JV to your varsity
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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