it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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