i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize