All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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