beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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