No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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