im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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