it was like eating out sand paper
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
and you fell through a lawn chair
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
