is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
