I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
