Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
