He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
