Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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