why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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