we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
