i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
