I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
