Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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