I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
