have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
