I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize