oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
