Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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