Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
