so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
