i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
