I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
