Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
its liver damage thursday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
