Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
