pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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