Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
