If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
