is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
