i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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