Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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