um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
