I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
