A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my shit smells like andre
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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